Denim Day - Sexual Assault Awareness Month

On this final day of Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I want to highlight 'Denim Day,' observed worldwide on the last Wednesday of April.

Denim Day dates back to a 1992 case in Italy, where an 18-year-old woman was raped by her 45-year-old driving instructor. Although he was initially convicted, the Italian Supreme Court later overturned the conviction, reasoning that because the victim wore tight jeans, she must have helped remove them, implying consent. This rationale became infamously known as the "jeans alibi."

The verdict sparked outrage, leading women in the Italian Parliament to protest by wearing jeans the following day. Inspired by this, Patricia Occhiuzzo Giggans, Executive Director of Peace Over Violence, launched the first Denim Day in Los Angeles in April 1999. Since then, Denim Day has become an international campaign to spread awareness, stop victim-blaming, and expose harmful attitudes and myths people hold towards sexual assault victims. On Denim Day, we wear denim to stand in solidarity with survivors.

As a therapist who supports survivors of sexual violence in a hospital emergency room, I've witnessed the harmful treatment they often endure, from law enforcement, family members, and even medical staff. Survivors frequently face victim-blaming questions like, "What were you wearing?" or "Were you drinking?" Such inquiries shift blame from the perpetrator to the victim.

Common Misconceptions

On Denim Day and every day, I want to remind survivors: It is not your fault. Your clothing, actions, or choices do not justify someone else's decision to harm you. Unfortunately, many survivors internalize harmful myths that perpetuate victim-blaming. Let’s address and debunk some of these common misconceptions:

1. Myth: If a victim of sexual assault does not fight back, they must have thought the assault was not that bad or they wanted it.
   Fact: Many survivors experience tonic immobility or a “freeze response” during an assault where they physically cannot move or speak. Many victims do not fight back because they are afraid or feel compelled to cooperate in order to survive.

2. Myth: Wearing revealing clothing, behaving provocatively, or drinking a lot means the victim was “asking for it.”
   Fact: The perpetrator selects the victim- the victim’s behavior or clothing choices do not mean that they are consenting to sexual activity. No one asks to be abused, injured, or humiliated.

3. Myth: If you’re dating or married to them, it’s not considered rape.
   Fact: Many survivors of rape and sexual abuse are hurt by someone they know, trust, or love. You do not owe your partner anything just because of your relationship status or previous consensual sexual experiences.

4. Myth: Men can't be sexually assaulted.
   Fact: Any man can be sexually assaulted, regardless of size, strength, appearance, or sexual orientation

If you find yourself grappling with these or other harmful beliefs, know that you're not alone. I'm here to support you in unpacking these misconceptions. Feel free to book a session so we can work together to challenge these harmful and negative thoughts and move towards healing.

Sources: https://denimday.org/why-denim; https://www.maderacollege.edu/about/title-ix/facts-and-myths.html; https://www.ourresilience.org/what-you-need-to-know/myths-and-facts/